wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
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