kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
And it looks like I sent you 4 failed attempts at the word "hey." Sorry about that.
I think I just need to get a pillow shaped like a toilet seat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
You can cross "give someone a blow job while playing Colors of the Wind" off my bucket list.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only way he could ever pleasure me is if he lit himself on fire and let me watch
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
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