i can't believe i had my finger in that
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
Randomize
