i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
Tiger Woods should have just walked in, gave everyone a high five, and left.
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
We need to get her a baby shower present. And no, a blow up sex doll with her dead boyfriends picture stuck to it, is not appropriate.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
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