I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
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