He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
Dood you jacked it to warcraft. you can't come back from something like that
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I may or may not have just had sex in the bed of a pick-up at a drive-in movie theater.
Randomize
