why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
I can't believe he let me cut his hair as stoned as I was.. I think I even cut my own hair too
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
