I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
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