I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i always forget guys have bellybuttons
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
