so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
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