he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
ever had one of those days where you say fuck it and lick the inside of a bag of chips
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize
