I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
