worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
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nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I heard liver failure is in for 2012 anyways
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Unless you're gonna start buying my underwear, you have got to stop ripping it off of me.
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I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night