Texts From Last Night

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  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.

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  (902): It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies. http://tfl.nu/tvv6
  Replies (79) Good night (7029) Bad night (1231)
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  (757): View more from Virginia

  Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.

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  (757): Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you. http://tfl.nu/fb35
  Replies (24) Good night (1969) Bad night (5532)
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  (804): View more from Virginia

  For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor

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  (804): For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor http://tfl.nu/12jc
  Replies (5) Good night (4574) Bad night (932)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"

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  (303): good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia" http://tfl.nu/o7ku
  Replies (6) Good night (2208) Bad night (1767)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week

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  (231): Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week http://tfl.nu/unwi
  Replies (4) Good night (2687) Bad night (893)
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  (774): View more from Massachusetts

  My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am

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  (774): My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am http://tfl.nu/yrwz
  Replies (8) Good night (1078) Bad night (1747)
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  (845): View more from New York

  No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back

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  (845): No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back http://tfl.nu/c7vm
  Replies (5) Good night (2252) Bad night (863)
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  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers

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  (864): I'm going to superglue stuart's hands into socker boppers http://tfl.nu/0wmu
  Replies (5) Good night (1685) Bad night (710)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?

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  (412): Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest? http://tfl.nu/7pdc
  Replies (7) Good night (985) Bad night (432)
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  (281): View more from Texas

  I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.

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  (281): I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car. http://tfl.nu/5ru6
  Replies (1) Good night (429) Bad night (712)
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  (713): View more from Texas

  I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"

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  (713): I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in" http://tfl.nu/49tf
  Replies (7) Good night (855) Bad night (561)
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  (818): View more from California

  So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway

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  (818): So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway http://tfl.nu/rhtw
  Replies (1) Good night (677) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (314): View more from Missouri

  You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad

  (224): View more from Illinois

  I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.

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  (314): You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad (224): I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick. http://tfl.nu/vatm
  Replies (2) Good night (390) Bad night (1177)
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  (631): View more from New York

  A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway.

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  (631): A sexy devil squat down and peed in front of Tom Hanks from Castaway. http://tfl.nu/tmel
  Replies (0) Good night (464) Bad night (380)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team

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  (630): I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team http://tfl.nu/5lox
  Replies (3) Good night (481) Bad night (187)

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