Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(603): View more from New Hampshire

I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.

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(585): View more from New York

it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.

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(573): View more from Missouri

i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.

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(256): View more from Alabama

I just saw the preacher from the church I grew up in while I was buying condoms at the drugstore... he remembered me.

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Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
Read it at the TFLN blog
(812): View more from Indiana

Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch

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(864): View more from South Carolina

we already have meals planned for the weekend.

(1-864): View more from South Carolina

SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.

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(715): View more from Wisconsin

I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.

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(815): View more from Illinois

I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.

(210): View more from Texas

Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.

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(813): View more from Florida

Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.

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