Texts From Last Night

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  (503): View more from Oregon

  That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour

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  (503): That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour http://tfl.nu/3dpl
  Replies (8) Good night (2487) Bad night (1012)
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  (630): View more from Illinois

  i have a girlfriend

  (847): View more from Illinois

  if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?

  (630): View more from Illinois

  no

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  (630): i have a girlfriend (847): if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend? (630): no http://tfl.nu/0yu4
  Replies (40) Good night (5519) Bad night (1729)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.

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  (814): Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader. http://tfl.nu/y8oj
  Replies (62) Good night (6969) Bad night (756)
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  (607): View more from New York

  you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY

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  (607): you need to leave class get on facebook and start untagging IMMEDIATELY http://tfl.nu/h6do
  Replies (47) Good night (3137) Bad night (14535)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together

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  (570): you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together http://tfl.nu/6q67
  Replies (20) Good night (7543) Bad night (1170)
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  (250): View more from British Columbia

  If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.

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  (250): If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour. http://tfl.nu/xxvi
  Replies (39) Good night (11810) Bad night (1347)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around.

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  (330): He was at the bottom of the stairs showering himself with the popcorn, then eating a few handfuls and running around. http://tfl.nu/0d7u
  Replies (4) Good night (2610) Bad night (899)
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  (316): View more from Kansas

  I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day

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  (316): I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day http://tfl.nu/h30u
  Replies (16) Good night (1475) Bad night (3890)
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  (215): View more from Pennsylvania

  I don't think we should have started that trash fire

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  (215): I don't think we should have started that trash fire http://tfl.nu/5qs5
  Replies (14) Good night (1920) Bad night (1393)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?

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  (732): I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'? http://tfl.nu/6mt1
  Replies (2) Good night (2651) Bad night (977)
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  (678): View more from Georgia

  I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly

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  (678): I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly http://tfl.nu/mkzb
  Replies (6) Good night (3099) Bad night (998)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote

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  (406): I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote http://tfl.nu/6a7z
  Replies (5) Good night (1615) Bad night (718)
• Favorite

  (913): View more from Kansas

  I'm drunk at 3:28

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I'm jealous as shit at 3:34

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  (913): I'm drunk at 3:28 (816): I'm jealous as shit at 3:34 http://tfl.nu/umrv
  Replies (1) Good night (1110) Bad night (272)
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  (614): View more from Ohio

  I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.

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  (614): I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had. http://tfl.nu/so3i
  Replies (4) Good night (368) Bad night (324)
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree

  (1-719): View more from Colorado

  it happenes

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  (719): I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree (1-719): it happenes http://tfl.nu/m4ky
  Replies (1) Good night (798) Bad night (192)

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