i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
Just heard a guy discussing with someone else the amazing blow job you gave him. I’m in New York. Over 2 hours away from where you live. I have never been more proud.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
I have migrated to the couch. Minimal movement is still happening, but I should be mobile enough to go to the liquor store by eight.......so that good.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Note to self, stop going out with self absorbed bisexuals
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I'M CUDDLING WITH MY CAT AND THAT GUY SENT ME A DICK PIC. UNANNOUNCED DICK PICS ARE TERRIFYING AND MY CAT WILL NEVER BE THE SAME
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...