Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Where am I? And why the fuck did you leave me here?
Relax. I left you somewhere safe plus you have all my weed so you know I will come back for you.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Randomize
