I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
We are two peas in an std pod
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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