My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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