Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
My tweets this weekend consisted of me telling every bar I went to that they were my favorite valentine. I've never felt like more of an alcoholic
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days