I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
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Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
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hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.