Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
ICE CREAM AND CAKE BITCHESSSSSS