Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism