You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I wonder what a non-hungover friday at work is like
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
Randomize
