Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
I'm at a Tim Horton's and two girls just came in handcuffed to eachother
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Randomize
