yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Who tried to make mustard cubes with the ice cube tray?
I just found a receipt from ace where I bought 1 lrg plastic funnel, 2ft of 1" plastic tubing, and a 48" toboggan sled. Thank you cashier #552 for letting that poor life decision happen.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
I've just never heard the term serendipitous used to describe having one's asshole licked.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
Randomize
