Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
I woke up with flowers, a tiara & pasta salad in my bed. Tequila makes me act like a fat Disney princess
Made a pan flute out of the varyingly empty beer bottles on the table. Played a glorious tune that paid tribute to the winds.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
She was drunk at Red Robin. She asked for more fries and then shoved them in her purse while saying "Come on bitches, you're coming with me" to them.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
