Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
Dogs love guiness but it fucks up their kidneys
Apparently you make a good broom.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
I'm. Arresyed bur sierra ue obbe of mt vet friends. I hope we can tyajk ane gwt ob the same page. Ur aweaome ttyl.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
Randomize
