I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Ugh I feel like I just got hit by a big giant sex bus.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
Randomize