Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Well, that was my first dog walk of shame. Nothing says "I've got my life together" like an inside out shirt and a baggie full of dog shit.
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
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