Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
What kind of flower means "I want to have unprotected sex with you, preferably from behind?" because thats the message I'd really like to send on Valentines Day
At what point did we decide It was a good idea t have a wheelbarrow race in the parking lot?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I walk into the pharmacy and I'm like "I need three morning after pills" and the guy was like "uhhhh". All I said was "we didn't plan it, we all just got laid the same night"
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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