I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I made out with a dude last night who has an ex wife. Is this what post grad life is about?
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
He used the term 'cock-staggering' in an email. So needless to say things are going pretty well.
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
