lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
highlight of my day: just saw a crying girl get dropped off at home wearing only socks, booty shorts, and a dirty wifebeeter. I wonder what happened to the costume...
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Randomize
