hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
