There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
