Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
I am sitting here. Drinking from a bottle of vodka. Eating shredded cheese from a bag and waiting on him to pick me up after he finishes with his girlfriend. This is what dreams are made of.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
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