I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
he just kept repeating that I have nice areolas
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
I should get him a card "thanks for letting me use you for your penis on and off as I see fit and for being a nice guy. My boobs and I appreciate your loyalty and dedication"
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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