the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
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