she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
An hour ago, you were stranded out of state, and now you're getting laid? You are a god. Whatever you do, don't ask her name.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
this hospital has no fireball
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
She was dressed as a banana and told me that I needed more potassium in my diet. Of course I went down on her.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I love you more than sex with randoms.... and we all know how much I love that shit.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
