I'm drive I can fine osifer
cannot fit in my clothes. too depressed to drink.
if you drink enough to puke, it's like a weight loss plan.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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