This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Randomize
