i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Im a photoshop master, i successfully reduced the size of the pupils of all the girls I made out last night with to prove they were not that drunk. So glad the camera goes home with me.
i grabbed his hand and told him i loved him and then he looked down and said "i love...mallomars" and shoved like three in his mouth. never been so embarrassed.
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
I shouldn't be drunk at 3 pm but alas, here we are...
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
Another guy on Tinder just asked about "the hotter girl" in my pictures. I fucking hate being your friend.
Randomize
