last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
you were sitting on the floor eating oats. how should i react?
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
