1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
I fucked your brother... Hey, at least we know he is not gay... You're welcome.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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