i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
no, he came in my armpit
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
People are talking politics and I have had 9 mimosas
the moment when you open a dick pic with your mom in the car... On your moms phone... Of your dad... Scarred for life
Randomize
