I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
we're making bets on your personal life
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
Randomize
