went to sleep on the couch in jeans and socks. woke up in bed totally nude no memory of moving. best farewell party ever
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
