Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Apparently shes in the bathroom puking but eating a pot roast she found in the fridge at the same time.
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Yeah I went home with her... She had me take off everything but my shirt and from across the room goes, "Now dance. Just dance that dick over here"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
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