I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I tried to bribe him with road head and his toothbrush.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Randomize
