I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I am one with the molecules
Randomize
