She's JV to your varsity
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I got a black eye last night. This guy said for every 35 pounds you lose you gain an inch to your dick. I asked him how long he has been peeing sitting down.
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
Reggie can tackle my bush.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
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