she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
doc says my ankle might be broken, they're going to do xrays. He asked me what happened and I told him if he could find out that would be great.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
