I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
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And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
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All is fair in love and war and toga parties
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
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