Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
