How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
