I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
when she said she was from California you started sobbing. You begged her not to melt your popsicle because you paid good money for it and you just wanted to eat it in peace.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
