addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
he was wearing sponge bob boxers. Guess how long he lasted.
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
Please let me buy the coffee, all my assets are in starbucks gift cards
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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