Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i would punch a child for taco bell
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
Because he's your one night stand I shouldn't feel obligated to extend social media to him
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
