Where is the hickey?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
For the love of God you used a 40 foot extension cord to bungee jump out the off the 2 nd floor
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
Is someone on their way here yet? I'm way too tweaked to be here alone
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
