So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
