I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
