At a place where you lie naked on a big pile of pillows and they feed you lobster. You eat it with your bare hands.
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
I would have to gauge my vagina to make it fit.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
i just tried to use a string cheese as a light source
I tried to twerk on a barn in 3 inch heels at a party last night and nose dived into mud. These were all new friends. I'm probably not allowed back. Cool.
and then you called me a third time and yelled that you were stealing a puppy named Willow
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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