Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
I saw a picture of a baby and it reminded me to take my birth control. Priorities
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
And the next thing I knew I was blowing this random hot italian bartender with an uncircumcised penis in his work closet
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