Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Found the puke drawer
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
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