you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You did a strip tease for the toilet.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Why is my vagina being sacrificed for yours? I'm sure he would take a piece of you too. Your turn.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I just had to kick out lesbian wedding crashers. They literally wanted to punch me. I threatened to call the cops so they went outside and smoked a joint.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
Scary. I hope people take me seriously. Maybe I should black out less to be sure
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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