I'm jealous of your bromance
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
Randomize