So you coming over for some grilled cheese and head?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Randomize
