What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Randomize
